Ryan's Birth Story

Sweet little Ryan! You’re my beautiful baby boy and we’re so thankful to have you here healthy and safe. Your birth was quite an adventure but you took everything in stride and have been the happiest, most contented little boy despite it all. 

Friday, June 15^th

I was one day shy of being a week past my due date and we were so anxious to meet you!  I was tired of waiting, frustrated by the aches and pains of late pregnancy and just plain exhausted! There were days when I definitely felt like I’d be the first person in the world to be permanently pregnant. To add to it all, Megan, our doula was heading out of town on vacation Saturday and I wanted her, not a backup, at your birth. And Kimberley, Katrina and Holly were on their way up from Omaha to meet you, having planned the trip months ago… In a family of Type As, nobody thought you’d be this late!

Around noon, I drove up to see Mary, my midwife, for my 41 week appointment and Oliver met me there.  It was my first “overdue” appointment and so I was hooked up to a monitor for a “non-stress test”, where they watched your heart rate over the course of what was supposed to be 20 minutes. After 5 minutes, you had passed with flying colors! You were happy and healthy in there, and unless anything changed, we’d just let you take your time.  That morning, I had discussed with Megan the possibility of having my membranes swept at the appointment, to see if that would kick start things. Mary, agreed that it might be enough but also warned us that it may just cause a bunch of contractions that wouldn’t start labor and end up “just being a pain in the butt.” We decided to go for it.

Almost immediately after the appointment I did start having contractions, but knew that there was a good chance they’d just fizzle out, as they had been for weeks. We got home, ate some lunch and I went upstairs to get a quick nap before Kimberley and the girls arrived around 2:30. The contractions were mild enough that I was able to sleep for an hour and I woke up just as Kimberley and the girls arrived. Oliver wanted to go run a couple of errands and Kimberley suggested I go along – they’d stay with Norah and I could get out of the house for awhile.

As we were getting into the car, I commented to Oliver that I wondered how/when/if I’d know when the contractions I was having were “the real thing” versus just being the result of having my membranes swept. We laughed that it’d be funny if we came back from running errands, grabbed the hospital bag, and headed straight to St. Joe’s! I called Megan, who, in a very doula-like response, just reminded me to go about my day until I couldn’t anymore and that’s when I’d know. Contractions were strong and fairly frequent, but just like with Norah, I was hesitant to acknowledge that I might really be in labor. 

After two errand stops and enough contractions that I couldn’t walk or talk through, we decided that we should probably just head home.  Once back, it became pretty obvious that things were speeding up and we’d be having a baby soon! I called Megan and Mary and we decided that, given that it was rush hour (by this point, about 5:00) and my short labor with Norah, we should probably get going.

What a funny thing it was to have Kimberley and the girls arrive here and have me leave for the hospital all within the course of a few hours! I think Oliver, Kimberley and I were all a little flustered. Holly was confused. Katrina was busy taking care of Norah and Norah seemed oblivious to the whole thing.  

We had a surprisingly easy drive to Saint Paul – in fact, we kept joking that it took longer for me to walk from the car to the childbirth center than it did to drive across town! 

Everything looked good when we got settled into our room – you heart rate sounded good and everything was moving along smoothly. I was only 3 or 4 cm. dilated but kept reminding myself that it didn’t matter – with the strong and frequent contractions I was having, things would probably move really quickly.  Megan set up the tub in the bathroom with some candlelight and lavender oil so I could just climb in and relax.  I had been listening to the birth affirmations from our Hypnobirthing CDs and was really able to relax between contractions.  It wasn’t much longer and I started to feel my body begin to bear down. Megan and Oliver got the okay for me to move into the big birthing tub and the nurses helped me move across the hall. 

I had gone from 3 cm. to 6 cm. really quickly, but at only 6 cm. I knew we still had a ways to go.  I still felt like I could relax between the contractions, but that window was getting slimmer and slimmer as they began to come fast and furious.  Mary was getting concerned about the amount of blood she was seeing in the water and asked me to get onto my knees so they could check your heart again. With your pulse at only 50 (normal for a baby is closer to 150), things started to get really serious, really fast.  All the lights in the room came on and Mary told me I would have to get out of the tub, onto the bed and onto all fours as fast as possible. Not easy during heavy labor!

Suddenly there were doctors and nurses everywhere. It was like a scene out of a TV show – numbers and technical terms being shouted, medications being ordered. I was given a shot of Terbutaline in an attempt to slow the contractions, hooked up to an IV and blood was drawn.  Before I could really grasp what was happening, Mary was explaining that they were doing what they could to help you out of your distress, but that most likely we were headed for a full-anesthesia emergency c-section. No Oliver, no Megan – just me, knocked out and taken to the OR.  And through all this, I am told the most important thing is DO NOT PUSH! This is vastly easier said than done. 

It’s amazing in this moment, which was so like your sister’s birth, I am never afraid. I know that you will be okay. I know that we will do this together. I am strong and I will do EVERYTHING in my power to get you into this world safely. I will not let my body let you down. Sweet little you.

Fast-forward here a little because, understandably, things got a tad fuzzy. At some point you must have started to perk up a bit because the next thing I clearly remember is Mary explaining to me that she wanted to try an epidural. Her hope was that it would slow the contractions and eliminate the urge to push. The other benefit, she explains, is that if we do go into surgery, with an epidural in place, I wouldn’t be put under general anesthesia and would be awake for the c-section.  I looked to Oliver and Megan and, wordlessly, we all knew it was the right choice. As a family who truly believes in the sanctity of natural birth, I never thought I would have had such an easy time accepting the need for medication but it was, in this instance, unquestionably the right decision for us.

The anesthesiologist arrived very quickly and explained the procedure for administering the epidural. Oliver held me tight through several strong contractions (the injected medication had worn off by this point) while he did his work. I have to step out of the story for a moment here to say that this man did an unbelievable job. I know that I was practically screaming through the worst of the contractions, trying desperately to hold still but yet there were no hiccups in the process, no needing to place and re-place the needle, no shooting pains – nothing for me to worry about beyond trying to get through my contractions in a less-than-comfortable position. 

When the medication kicked in, with the monitor held to my belly (I was secretly glad that, despite several attempts, they weren’t able to get a scalp electrode inserted, on account of your full head of hair!) your heart rate was better, but we weren’t out of the woods yet. For the next two hours or so, I was shifted into a variety of positions trying to relieve pressure on the umbilical cord and keep your heart rate as close to 150 as we could. In a tangle of cords and wires (epidural, IV fluid, heart monitor, oxygen mask and catheter at this point), we found that the best position for you was on my knees, hanging over the upright back of the hospital bed! Hey… whatever works, right?! Again, thanks to the awesome work of the anesthesiologist, I was still easily able to support my weight, feel contractions and feel you moving down closer to birth. Around 11:45, discussion turned to whether you’d be born Friday or Saturday and it hit me – wow! After all this, we’re actually ready to meet you!! 

Saturday, June 16^th

Midnight passed as preparations to begin pushing started. Just like with Norah’s birth, the midwife apologized as she told me we’d have to get you out fast and that despite the fact that I was only 8 cm. dilated, we needed to go now.  A quick, gentle “test push” proved her theory that some pressure from your head would open things the rest of the way and it was time to go! 

After a couple of good hard pushes, I was able to reach down and feel your hairy (and slimy) little head! One more and your head was all the way out! One more and I saw a look of concern on Mary’s face and another push turned that look to fear. Suddenly, orders were being shouted and the room was again filling with nurses. The cord was around your neck, but that was quickly taken care of. The bigger problem was that you were stuck. Shoulder dystocia is the medical term, but basically because of the size and angle of your shoulders, your head made it out but the rest of your body was stuck. Nurses were pushing down on you from the top of my belly, Mary was wiggling you and trying to turn you and all the while I was again being told that I had to push harder and harder. It is not a good feeling to look down and see fear on the face of your midwife but after three and a half minutes, and just as the obstetrician walked into the room, she yelled, “I’ve got him, we’re good!” and your body slipped out. 

Your floppy, blue little body was placed onto my belly for what couldn’t have been more than 10 or 15 seconds and I held you for that fleeting moment before they stole you away to the far corner of the room to get to work on bringing you around. Oliver was able to stand by the warmer and watch as the neonatal specialists gave you oxygen, rubbed you down and tried to get you going. 

After an interminably long time, they finally brought you to me and there you were. There we were. To say that birth is a miracle really is an understatement.  It’s amazing how cosmically big something can be when its product is so small. You are tiny but you have already proven how big and strong and tough you are. You are part of me and so much like me, from your blue eyes and blonde hair to your determined little spirit. I am so thankful that you chose me and I already can’t wait to know you forever.